Bringing a new puppy into your home is an exciting time, filled with joy and the promise of years of companionship. However, along with the excitement comes the responsibility of helping your puppy adjust to their new environment. One common but outdated piece of advice is to leave a puppy to "cry it out" when they are left alone, with the idea that they'll eventually learn to self-soothe. Unfortunately, this approach can do more harm than good.
The Problem with "Crying it Out"
Leaving a puppy to cry is rooted in old-fashioned training methods, much like the outdated practice of leaving babies to cry themselves to sleep. Both practices stem from the belief that the individual will eventually learn to cope with distress on their own. However, we now know that these methods can lead to significant emotional harm.
When a puppy is left to cry, they aren't learning independence - they're experiencing distress. Prolonged crying can lead to feelings of abandonment, which can increase anxiety rather than decrease it. Puppies left to cry may develop separation anxiety, a condition where they become extremely anxious when left alone, which can lead to destructive behaviour, excessive barking, and even health issues.
5 Tips to Avoid Separation Anxiety
Start Small and Gradually Increase Alone Time: Begin by leaving your puppy alone for just a few minutes at a time – this can be as easy as moving to another room. Gradually increase this time as your puppy becomes more comfortable, always ensuring they have something to keep them occupied, like a favourite toy or a chew. Only be away for a few seconds to begin with, and make sure that they can get to you by choice if they need to (no closed doors, however, a baby gate can be used as they can still see you).
Create a Safe Space: Make sure your puppy has a comfortable, safe area where they feel secure. This could be a crate or a pen, toys, and familiar scents. A safe space helps them feel protected when you're not around. Again, make sure that you spend time over the first few weeks to make this a safe space – its all down to how the puppy feels – not just because we “say it’s safe”.
Build Confidence Through Positive Reinforcement: Encourage your puppy's independence by rewarding them when they explore on their own or settle down without being prompted. Use treats, praise, or playtime as a reward. Allowing them to explore and come back to you when they need reassurance, is a great way to build confidence and starts the understanding that coming back to you for fun and safety is a great idea (think recall in future months).
Establish a Routine: Puppies thrive on routine. By feeding, playing, and letting your puppy rest at the same times each day, they will start to feel secure in knowing what to expect, which can reduce anxiety. We all do better when we know “what comes next”, then when something changes its not quite so scary.
Practice Brief Departures: Practice leaving your puppy alone by stepping out of the room for short periods and returning before they become anxious. You can leave a stuffed Kong or chew and give them the choice – follow you or stay and enjoy the chew. They will only choose the chew if they feel safe to do so! Gradually increase the duration as they become more confident that you will always return. Every puppy is different and there is no one size fits all – do not have high expectations!
Why Early Confidence and Resilience Are Key
Building confidence and resilience in your puppy from an early age is crucial for their development. A confident puppy is less likely to experience severe anxiety, as they learn to trust that their needs will be met. By avoiding the "cry it out" method and focusing on building a strong, trusting relationship with your puppy, you're setting them up for a happier, more balanced life. Something that will be later relied on during the adolescent phase!
If you're looking for tailored support during this critical period, my bespoke 1:1 Puppy Foundation Course is designed to guide you through the first few weeks with your new puppy. I offer personalised advice and hands-on support to help your puppy settle in, build confidence, and avoid common pitfalls like separation anxiety. Together, we can ensure your puppy gets the best possible start in life.
Email us for more information help@avrilyoungdogtraining.com
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